san bernardino police department

i'm drunk right now and i got pulled over about 20 minutes ago. what happened? either i talked my way out of a d.u.i. possibly or he just didn't care enough to lock me up. i'm honestly surprised i'm writing this though, i reek like cheap merlot and pinot noir, marlboro 27's and coffee. my hair is greasy, unruly and disgusting. i lack sleep, hence my eyes are bloodshot. i have bags developing under my pupils. maybe  it was the new car or the anglo look. either way i cheated the justice system immensely right now. i thought that i would be caught as the scofflaw who run all those stop-signs in a drunken stupor. instead i was sent away as michael, late for work at 4 in the ay-em.